To Those Who Would Keep on Comforting Me Part 2

In “To Those Who Would Comfort Me” which I wrote right after the first anniversary of my brother’s death,  (read it HERE)  referenced the things I noticed in the early days of my grief journey. The following is from a Sept. 2010 entry in my journal as I was approaching 5th anniversary of my brother’s death. (If you…

When I Can’t See…

written Sept. 2008 during a time when I  strugglied with fear.  This post is part of the process of learning to trust again after the loss of my brother and grieving the earlier losses of two siblings as a child.  Even now, 3 years later, I still stuggle at times with fear, but God met me through…

Release of a Different Kind

Something is different this year!  A letter to my brother… Dear Little Brother, It’s November 8th again, 6 years since you left us. And as on every anniversary, I release a red balloon for you, for our shared birthstone, a deep garnet. I take my red balloon to the clerk who inflates it for me,…

A gift for me on my brother’s birthday

It’s January 6, my brother’s birthday. He would have been 55 years old today.  Of course, I have been thinking about him and being grateful that he was part of my life. I wasn’t planning to go go to the lake this afternoon. I’m just trying to pick up a few things at the store. But…

Before and After, Day 7: Remembering & Comfort – A memorial Service

(Start HERE  for full “Before and After” series) Carol’s (Gordon’s wife) thoughts on the Memorial Service November 12, 2005: God gave me the music one  special song at a time. * Right after the phone call on my way home from Missoula, I heard “I Can Only Imagine” and knew the situation was bad and I might…

Before and After, Day 6 part 2: guest post “Between Life and Death” by Todd Hiestand

(Start HERE  for full “Before and After” series) In Between Death & Life – a blog written by my son Todd on November 11, 2005. It’s not supposed to be this way. You are not supposed to watch your grandparents stand over the coffin of their youngest child. You are not supposed to listen to the cries…

Before and After, Day 6, part 1: People, Flowers and Food

(Start HERE  for full “Before and After” series) This evening we will be at the funeral home greeting friends and family. People and flowers and food flowed into the house. This white flower was one of the first and the most striking in appearance and fragrance. Notice the new Testament and Psalms. Carol and I “lived” in…

Before and After, Day 5, part 1: Picking Up His things

(Start HERE  for full “Before and After” series) I go with Carol to pick up his “things.” Four days later and they’re still soaking wet. (Yes, those are his shoes.) Soaked – everything, even his wallet. Carol looks through everything, her hands shaking. “He didn’t even eat his Skittles.” There are wet matches, his wallet, and…