Before & after -Day 3, Lost, Found, Gone

(Start HERE  for full “Before and After” series) Tuesday, November 8, 2005 – He’s gone 4:30 am Carol calls to tell us things do not look good and they are airlifting him to Billings. She says we should plan to come and I wonder why. I still don’t “believe” but for the first time I am thinking…

Before and After, Day 2: The Search

(Start “Before and After” series HERE) I remember a few vignette’s from the day, but very little of how I felt.  Mostly I was numb. Contemplating the possibilities was  too terrible. I wake up – How did I sleep – denial? I am to facilitate a small conference call at 1:00 pm, but I put off…

Before and After, Day 1

It’s the 7th anniversary of an event that became a “before and after” event in my life. Seven years ago my brother, Gordon, was hunting in the mountains, got lost, and was not found before he died of hypothermia. As this website is a place for me to record my journey for me and for…

Before and After – Be Still and Know

Today is the 7th anniversary of hearing of my brother, Gordon’s is lost at the end of a day of hunting.  He would be found two days later, having succumbed to hypothermia. It’s a day I pause to honor and remember my brother. This morning, Pandora Internet Radio randomly (?) played “Be still and know…

Blessed Be Your Name? . !

As Worship Choir Members, we are encouraged to spend time with one of the songs until it becomes a part of us, as a way of preparing our hearts to lead worship. Last night at choir practice we practiced, “Blessed Be Your Name” by Matt Redman. I find a strange disinterest in this song tonight…

It’s the “October-almost-November” feeling

I wrote the “October-almost-November” Feeling a few years after Gordon died and first posted it last year.  It references the “anniversay reaction/grief” as it is commonly known. This year it’s a bit more noticeable for a couple reasons I suppose. 1)  It’s the anniversary where I can say,” 6 years ago  to the very day…”  This anniversary seems more poignant for that…

Grief and Gladness (Gratitude), A “Curious Blend”

In silence, Lord, I feel now the curious blend of grief and gladness in me over the endings that the ticking and the twirling of things brings. (Ted Loder, “I Teeter on the Brink of Endings” – Guerrillas of Grace, Page 83.) These lines from Ted Loder’s poem capture my pensive mood today. It’s Ronnie’s…