On this misty, rainy morning I sit here at the lake
under the pavilion,
pondering what it means to really trust You.
It's been on my mind a lot lately. .
So many changes
Things happening I never expected,
Things I couldn't control.
Life feeling like it's upside down.
Such a mystery - this thing called trust
and the peace I am supposed to feel
when I trust you.
Sometimes I feel "peace," but
feeling good when
I see a way
seems more like trusting
I suspect true peace is more like
when I can't see
knowing You are in the chaos
knowing it might not "turn out all right"
at least according to me.
It's the knowing
You are patient with me
as I work toward a place
This morning,as I sit here,
the breeze blows from the North
bringing with it the fragrance
from an early summer flowering tree.
Going over to take a close up picture,
the scent grows stronger
as I walk through the wet grass
and the misty rain.
I see the cream-colored flowers
against the dark green foliage.
I touch the delicate petals.
My senses are overwhelmed
and soon it's all I am thinking about . . .
And I hear You say,
Stay close to me,
Let me overwhelm your senses.
Stay away from the fray.
Stop trying to figure it out.
Your peace does not depend on "good news,"
things going the way you want
or think you need them to go.
I'll need your help.
It's hard to live "in between"
and Your solution.
I guess that's the whole point, isn't it God?
Trust when I can see
probably isn't trust at all.
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