Today, I share words I jotted down a few Octobers after the November 8th anniversary of Gordon’s death. For the first few years, this time of year just kind of caught up with me before I “remembered.” Now I know . . . I welcome and plan for this time of remembering by building in some “traditions.” (I am big on “traditions” in case you don’t already know!)
One of my good friends has a scrapbooking retreat the first weekend in November, so I give myself that day – just to enjoy the thing I enjoy most. And on the actual anniversary, I meet for coffee with a friend who is my “substitute” little brother. (Thanks Brian!)
Lord . . .
I’m unsettled . . . edgy
feelings of tension mark my days
Why Lord?
I’ve been doing “so well,”
more at peace,
my grief less overwhelming
It takes awhile to
remember another
anniversary approaches
The day dividing
my life into
“Before “& “After”
My soul knows
what my mind has been
too busy to acknowledge
Remembering is good
giving myself this time to
grieve from this vantage point
The remembering is always the same
The intensity of the feelings change
I never know
I will continue to remember
And for those who love me
It matters to me that you know
I am remembering
in a more focused way
than I remember on most days
_________
Note: click HERE to see how previous losses can be affected by present losses, seemingly unrelated.
Your journey has given me so much to think about and to share with grieving friends. Thank you for your transparency. So much loss in my friends’ lives these days. Lots to pray for. Thanks again for being so authentic. love you, Carol 🙂