I wrote about the October-almost-November Feeling here in this blog space. It was a few years after Gordon died and first posted it last year. It references the “anniversary reaction/grief” as it is commonly known.
This year it’s a bit more noticeable for a couple of reasons I suppose.
1) It’s the anniversary when this year, the anniversary date falls on the same day of the week now as it did then. I can say,” Six years ago on this day . . . ” This anniversary seems more poignant for that reason. There is even a term for it, but I can’t remember what it is. and 2) I am losing the presence of two very dear friends –
Anniversary grief . . .
Anniversary reaction . . .
I experience it in some form or another
some years less intense,
some years more noticeable
Like this year:
There is the loss of dear friends as they move five hours away . . .
two of the people who walked with me through this journey of loss,
two people who, except for my husband and a couple other close friends,
really “know” me.
It’s not their friendship I will lose.
It’s the loss of their presence in my everyday life.
The beauty of the autumn is more bitter-sweet than usual.
So here we are again, the
I have learned to
pay attention to it
take time to remember
A red balloon for his January birthday
and a journal,
usually are part of my remembering!
How do you remember?
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5 Replies to “Revisiting the “October-almost-November Feeling””
Yes, anniversaries do this “remembering” thing to us. God remembers with us and gives us his presence as comfort for our loss. Maybe he cries too.
The remembering is ever with me. He is still ever with me. Just not present, like your friends. Every day I celebrate that he “was”. I don’t need a tombstone to remember, just a friend. Wish you could be here with me for some “in person, focused remembering”, Carol. Someday we will have to plan for you to come here over November 8th. As to one way I try to “celebrate” Gordon’s passing is by having a massage. Maybe I better schedule one tomorrow. Thanks so much for your gift of words as you remember.