It’s the “October-almost-November” feeling

gordon bl og 10 11I wrote the “October-almost-November” Feeling a few years after Gordon died and first posted it last year.  It references the “anniversay reaction/grief” as it is commonly known.

This year it’s a bit more noticeable for a couple reasons I suppose.

1)  It’s the anniversary where I can say,” 6 years ago  to the very day…”  This anniversary seems more poignant for that reason.  There is even a term for it, but I can’t remember what it is.   and 2)   I am losing the presence of two very dear friends - 

Anniversary grief . . .
Anniversary reaction . . .
I experience it in some form or another
some years less intense,
some years more noticeable

Like this year:
There is the loss of dear friends as they move 5 hours away . . .
two of the people who walked with me through this journey of loss,
two people who, except for my husband and a couple other close friends,
really “know” me.

It’s not their friendship I will lose.
It’s the loss of  their presence in my everyday life.

The beauty of the autumn is  more bitter-sweet than usual.

Again, it’s the
“October-almost-November” feeling.
I have learned to
expect it.
pay attention
take time to remember
A red balloon for  his January birthday
Lake Michigan
and a journal,
usually are part of my remembering!

How do you remember?

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2 Replies to “It’s the “October-almost-November” feeling”

  1. Yes, anniversaries do this “remembering” thing to us. God remembers with us and gives us his presence as comfort for our loss. Maybe he cries too.

  2. The remembering is ever with me. He is still ever with me. Just not present, like your friends. Every day I celebrate that he “was”. I don’t need a tombstone to remember, just a friend. Wish you could be here with me for some “in person, focused remembering”, Carol. Someday we will have to plan for you to come here over November 8th. As to one way I try to “celebrate” Gordon’s passing is by having a massage. Maybe I better schedule one tomorrow. Thanks so much for your gift of words as you remember.

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