I wrote this December 20 and here it still sits as a draft:) I do things like that. I thought, “I could wait till next December 29 and it would still be true,” but it’s true now April 23, 2018. I suspect some of you may relate to it also. If it does, I’d love to hear about it.
I wrote this last year in my journal on December 29, 2017, and it matters as much now as it did then.
I read this prayer/”poem yesterday and looked at it again today…and thought about it for a bit. (Ted Loder, “Guerrillas of Grace” Pg 121)
“It’s not days or years I seek from you
not infinity and enormity,
but small things and moments and awareness
awareness that you are in what I am
and in what I’ve been indifferent to. “
I had to stop and think about that first part…of not asking for days and years. I want days and years, I have a lot of living to do, at least from my perspective. Yet the message to me is this: being aware of Jesus being in what I am…and Jesus in what I’ve been indifferent to – – – well that will make whatever days or years I do have worth living for myself and others.
There are things I have been indifferent to over the years, mostly things I could not process or work through without help. He has been with me in those things too… I have been blessed with a good counselor, and godly friends and loving family.
The poem ends with these lines, which are a bit more challenging, because, remember, I want the days and years:
It is not new time,
but new eyes,
new heart I seek,
He has been in it all.
Happy New Year to us all.