March of 2009.
Mom has just been admitted to hospice care. I am on my way to see Carol and the kids and I am so afraid of all that is ahead. I don’t know how I will manage her care. It seems very overwhelming. I am sitting on the plane waiting for take-off, talking to Galen about my fears. I end the conversation as we are preparing for takeoff . . . . . .
And I notice this symbol on the wing of the airplane
outside my window.
but as I sit here
and think about what is ahead,
that silly circle, is all I can see
from my window seat
over the wing.
I feel like I’m on a slippery slope
in need of a safety line.
And you remind me . . .
a safety line is only
as safe as the
And I know there is a lesson here for me.
I will attach my line to YOU
as I’m learning once again to trust.
But I am really scared.
I know my faith dare not rest
only on You doing
what I want . . .
what I think I need . .
Please help me.
I want to trust
You’ll coordinate all these things
as I am losing again.
Be patient with me
while I learn to walk by faithyet again . . .
trusting the “Attach Point” is SAFE.
When I return home, I ask a dear family friend, John Tyler who is a retired American Airlines Mechanic about what I saw. He tells me that in an emergency, the emergency door is opened but on a narrow-bodied plane like this one, there is no chute. The passengers slide down the flaps – the first person out attaches a rope to this “safety line attach point,” and it is used as a safety rope/guide line for those leaving the plane.
“Keep me safe, O God,
I’ve run for dear life to you.
I say to GOD, “Be my Lord!”
Without you, nothing makes sense.
My choice is you, GOD, first and only.
And now I find I’m your choice!