Happy Again

It’s peaceful out here tonight.
The snow makes everything
        so quiet.
And I breathe deeply.
I didn’t know if I’d truly know
       happiness again
       that I could feel this good.
I thought I had lost myself,
       never to find the old me again
I didn’t find the old me exactly.

What I am starting to discover
       is the me that God created
       me to be . . .
       the one I was
       before I developed patterns of coping
       with pain and loss
       patterns that are no longer helpful.
The me who now
       knows herself more fully
       and in turn can relate more fully
       with God and others.

Tonight I feel deep down joy.
I am so glad it is still to be found.
My heart broke,
       my world crashed around me
       but in the rebuilding I found
       strength I’d never known.
Thank you, God.