Goodbye’s, Clover and Presence

Of our three grown children and their families, two of them live within a ½ hour of our home. And one of them has lived all their married life in Philadelphia andnow they are moving to the Portland, Oregon area with their 4 boys. 

Recently I wrote a prayer to God in my journal. (A lot of time my journaling is simply "praying at the point of a pen" as my mentor/Spiritual director/friend, Shirley always says.)

My mind has been racing double-time
even here as I relax on my blanket by the lake
surrounded by the sweet fragrance of clover.

clover lake opeka

Todd and his family are moving across the country in a few days

christmas mountain, ff week

And it' hard
And I support them
As they follow your heart for them.

Some of my friends think it's just going
west instead of east. 
"Not that much further" they say.

Well, as a matter of fact, it's a LOT further.
tod and mels adventure

Clackamas, a SE suburb of Portland is four times as far!    

And every day is closer to the time 
I must stand at the airport 
and wave goodbye to them 

Lord, you know the passion I have for our family 
to stay connected,
how I see my grandchildren as my ministry.
a priority in the remaining  years you give me.

But right now I am floating above the emotion
of it all,
the reality of what this means.
I won't see them 4-5 times a year anymore
They will only come once a year, not twice.

And floating makes it easier to manage for now
but reality will hit. 
And I need a sense of your presence
as I navigate this change.  

And so I remain here on the blanket,
by the lake.
And the breeze blows.
And there it is again.
The sweet fragrance of clover.  
Considered a weed in the home owners yard,
welcomed at the park it becomes a
symbol of God sweet presence
in the middle of all the changes.

And I pick a bouquet of clover.
It sits on my window sill all week
so I don't forget.

clover lake opeka

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

I drop them off at the airport
I stop at the lake and pick more clover
on the way home.


The John Deere tractor is here
They are not. 
The rocking chair is empty
The house is loudly silent. 

And clover sits 
on my window sill
so I remember.


17 Replies to “Goodbye’s, Clover and Presence”

  1. I was born in Portland, raised in the NW, and have been out there many times. BUT the Lord put me in Omaha 40 years ago, and I’ve also had to drive into the East areas a number of times and very far north. I sure know the difficulties of the moving around and about. AND moving furniture, etc., can be a real challenge. Going over the mountains can be fairly easy, but needs to be done with great attention and focusing. I’ve seen much over the Rockies and Cascades and around Columbia River and other places, so just lift up the situation and, as my husband always says when I’m/or we hitting the road is that the angels will cover our car. Hope it all goes very well. Blessings…

    1. they are safely there. they did have an oil filter issue as they got to Baker City, OR – if they hadn’t stopped when they did before they got into the mountains, they could have blown the engine….we are grateful they are there safe and sound. my husband, his brother and my son’s friend went along to share the driving of the two vehicles.
      so, omaha – we lived in Fremont. do you still live in Omaha?

    1. P.S. Love the tangible reminder of the clover (and the pics) allowing you to remember that God is with you through this time!

    1. Grandma’s get each other … yes we do! I love this stage of life when your heart gets bigger to accomodate all the lovely people that belong there!

    1. I wish you could too Shanna. I know you miss them too. I was so relieved to see that post pop up from Todd last night on Facebook “Home.” love you my friend.

  2. Carol,
    This is just beautiful. A look into your heart, and I’m hurting for that longing you express. I felt the way you will miss them. Truly, may God our comfort be your everything and encourage you with his great love in this new season. I’m glad I hopped on here…Blessings!

    1. thank you for your sweet comments Ginger. It’s sweet how those clover sprigs keep reminding me God is here. I am excited for them in so many ways. i think its a good move for them. That doesn’t make it easy!

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