Goodbye’s, Clover and Presence

Of our three grown children and their families, two of them live within a ½ hour of our home. And one of them has lived all their married life in Philadelphia andnow they are moving to the Portland, Oregon area with their 4 boys. 

Recently I wrote a prayer to God in my journal. (A lot of time my journaling is simply “praying at the point of a pen” as my mentor/Spiritual director/friend, Shirley always says.)

Lord, 
My mind has been racing double-time
even here as I relax on my blanket by the lake
surrounded by the sweet fragrance of clover.

clover lake opeka

Todd and his family are moving across the country in a few days

christmas mountain, ff week

And it’s hard
And I support them
As they follow your heart for them.

Some of my friends think it’s just going
west instead of east. 
"Not that much further" they say.

Well, as a matter of fact, it's a LOT further.
tod and mels adventure

Clackamas, a SE suburb of Portland is 4 times as far!    

And every day is closer to the time 
I must stand at the airport 
and wave goodbye to them 

Lord, you know the passion I have for our family 
to stay connected,
how I see my grandchildren as my ministry.
a priority in the remaining  years you give me.

But right now I am floating above the emotion
of it all,
the reality of what this means.
I won’t see them 4-5 times a year anymore
They will only come once a year, not twice.

And floating makes it easier to manage for now
but reality will hit. 
And I need a sense of your presence
as I navigate this change.  

And so I remain here on the blanket,
by the lake.
And the breeze blows.
And there it is again…
The sweet fragrance of clover.  
Considered a weed in the home owners yard,
welcomed at the park it becomes a
symbol of God sweet presence
in the middle of all the changes.

And I pick a bouquet of clover.
It sits on my window sill all week
so I don’t forget.

clover lake opeka

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Today:  
I drop them off at the airport
I stop at the lake and pick more clover
on the way home.

Now……

The John Deere tractor is here
IMG_5407And they are not. 
And the rocking chair is empty
And the house is loudly silent. 

And clover sits 
on my window sill
again,
so I remember.

IMG_5410

Linking with Lisha Epperson and "Give Me Grace."   Lisha is one of the regular Blogs I read.  Follow this link and take a look

Unforced Rhythms, a new community I have discovered and can relate to.