Psalm 32:8 I will guide and teach you the way you should go. I will give you good advice and watch over you.
(written FebrUary 2009) It's been 3 1/2 years since my brother GORDON got lost in the mountains and died of hypothermia before he was found. I have been going through a period of doubt concerning God's goodness for several months now. We have also just signed my mother up for hospice and every day is full of question marks.
Oh, it's not that I doubt God is overall in-light-of-eternity-good. But I do wonder if He cares about how I experience life on a day-to-day basis. I am still in the scary middle of this process when I go for a walk in the neighborhood, asking God if there is something he would like me to notice, something he would like to say to me. As I walk past the church up the street, I stop, my attention drawn to the construction sign. And I begin to talk to God: LORD, You seem to be doing a lot of construction in my life. Sometimes it feels like destruction. so you can rebuild what has been broken. I am so tired. I just want to be done. Done with grief, with loss and all that goes with it. But looking at this sign, I am beginning to "hear" what you want to say to me. LORD: Give me YOUR hard hat to protect my thinking processes through this time. Help me believe again that you are GOOD. Give me YOUR safety glasses to protect my eyes as you help me see what you want me to see. Give me YOUR "workboots." Protect my footsteps as I journey with you through this season of doubt. Take me to a place of peace and healing. My Child: I will guide and teach you the way you should go. I will give you good advice and watch over you. Psalm 32:8 As I continue to be honest in my struggle with trust, God meets me where I am. And I come to believe he is not only good, he delights in me. And I can't help but think how applicable this is to me right now is the season in which I find myself. God's word is always relevant Zephaniah 3:17 becomes on of my favorite verses of scripture: Your God is present among you,a strong Warrior there to save you. Happy to have you back, he'll calm you with his love and delight you with his songs.