Psalm 32:8 I will guide and teach you the way you should go. I will give you good advice and watch over you.
(written FebrUary 2009) It's been 3 1/2 years since my brother GORDON got lost in the mountains and died of hypothermia before he was found. And I have been going through a period of doubt concerning Godâ€™s goodness for several months now. We have also just signed my mother up for hospice and every day is full of question marks.
Oh, itâ€™s not that I doubt God is overall in-light-of-eternity good. But I do wonder if He cares about how I experience life on a day-to-day basis. I am still in the scary middle of this process when I go for a walk in the neighborhood, asking God if there is something he would like me to notice, something he would like to say to me. As I walk past the church up the street, I stop, my attention drawn to the construction sign. And I begin to talk to God: LORD, You seem to be doing a lot of construction in my life. Sometimes it feels like destruction. so you can rebuild what has been broken. I am so tired. I just want to be â€œdone.â€ Done with grief, with loss and all that goes with it. But looking at this sign, I am beginning to "hear" what you want to say to me. LORD: Give me YOUR â€œhard hatâ€ to protect my thinking processes through this time. Help me believe you are GOOD. Give me YOUR â€œsafety glassesâ€ to protect my eyes as you help me see what you want me to see. Give me YOUR "workboots." Protect my footsteps as I journey with you through this season of doubt. Take me to a place of peace and healing. My Child: I will guide and teach you the way you should go. I will give you good advice and watch over you. Psalm 32:8 As I continue to be honest in my struggle with trust, God meets me where I am. And I come to believe he is not only good, he delights in me. And I can't help but think how applicable this is to me right now is the season in which I find myself. God's word is always relevant Zephaniah 3:17 becomes on of my favorite verses of scripture: YourÂ GodÂ is present among you,a strong Warrior there to save you. Happy to have you back, heâ€™ll calm you with his loveÂ and delight you with his songs. Linking this weekend with: Diedra Riggs and The Sunday Community Scripture and a Snapshot Lyli Dunbar and Thought Provoking Thursday