Losing an elderly parent "when it's time" . . . a strange unpredictable mix of feelings It's hard to file these feelings into folders marked Grief Gladness Relief Sadness It's more like the "curious blend" I referenced here on this blog a couple of weeks ago the day after my dad died. Confusing at best, it becomes more confusing when people with loving intent began to tell me how I am going to feel. After talking about this with my counselor, he gave me invaluable advice, saying, Carol, you get to have this day's experience." I remind myself of this as I move slowly through my days taking time to be, feeling the feelings, refusing to judge them. So on mornings when all I know is it feels good to eat breakfast together on the patio again, with my husband and to sit in the swing in the evening the the tears come freely, I remind myself, "I get to have this day's experience." I remember God is not only GOOD he also DELIGHTS in me. Zephaniah 3:17 Your GOD is present among you, a strong Warrior there to save you. Happy to have you back, he'll calm you with his love and delight you with his songs. And I am comforted. Oh and the next time I am with one who is grieving the loss of an elderly parent, I think I'll say something like "You'll probably feel a lot of things. Just know, you get to have this day's experience."
And I'll remember just because I felt one way, does not mean someone else will feel like me. Each of us has our own grief journey.