He will Carry Me

He will carry me  . . . . . This photo taken in 20o7 when my son took his son to his first Cubs game shouts the words “He will carry me!”  Mark Shulz sings it best in his song “He Will Carry Me.”  It’s always the song that starts playing in my mind when I see…

Rest for the Mind and comfort

August 2009:  I am exhausted, in need of comfort, having spent the past two months intensely caring for mom and dad.  At last,  a chance to get away for a few quiet days at our favorite place.  Christmas Mountain, Wisconsin I’ll  catch up, process, plan, get organized.  As I share with Galen how exhausted I…

grieving without knowing

Here is an excerpt from my one of my digital books “I Will Remember and Celebrate God’s Goodness with My Family” My little sister would have been 53 on Tuesday. Living only 7 hours, too little to survive, she came and went on the same day. Again I am caught by surprise by how deeply…

To Those Who Would Keep on Comforting Me Part 2

In “To Those Who Would Comfort Me, Part 1″ ” which I wrote right after the first anniversary of my brother’s death,  (read it HERE)  I reference the things I noticed in the early days of my grief journey. The following is from a Sept. 2010 entry in my journal as I was approaching 5th anniversary…

When I Can’t See…

written Sept. 2008 during a time when I  strugglied with fear.  This post is part of the process of learning to trust again after the loss of my brother and grieving the earlier losses of two siblings as a child.  Even now, 3 years later, I still stuggle at times with fear, but God met me through…

Release of a Different Kind

Something is different this year!  A letter to my brother… Dear Little Brother, It’s November 8th again, 6 years since you left us. And as on every anniversary, I release a red balloon for you, for our shared birthstone, a deep garnet. I take my red balloon to the clerk who inflates it for me,…

A gift for me on my brother’s birthday

It’s January 6, my brother’s birthday. He would have been 55 years old today.  Of course, I have been thinking about him and being grateful that he was part of my life. I wasn’t planning to go go to the lake this afternoon. I’m just trying to pick up a few things at the store. But…

Before and After Day 8: Coming Home & an Airline Angel

(Start HERE  for full “Before and After” series) It’s Monday Morning and Mom and Dad and I are flying home.   Galen stays behind to help Carol with business matters.  A week ago they were searching for him.  Now we are headed home after the Memorial Service.   As I sit there I notice…… The guy in the…

Before and After, Day 7: Remembering & Comfort – A memorial Service

(Start HERE  for full “Before and After” series) Carol’s (Gordon’s wife) thoughts on the Memorial Service November 12, 2005: God gave me the music one  special song at a time. * Right after the phone call on my way home from Missoula, I heard “I Can Only Imagine” and knew the situation was bad and I might…

Before and After, Day 6 part 2: guest post “Between Life and Death” by Todd Hiestand

(Start HERE  for full “Before and After” series) In Between Death & Life – a blog written by my son Todd on November 11, 2005. It’s not supposed to be this way. You are not supposed to watch your grandparents stand over the coffin of their youngest child. You are not supposed to listen to the cries…